I'm Alive - the story behind the song

There are several life stories that influenced the writing of "I'm Alive". I want to touch on those, but really quick I want to give the song a proper intro. This is a song for those who have lost hope, for husbands\wives that live in the shadows of past sexual encounters, for kids who are dealing with the lack of parents from divorce or chasing the American Dream, for those who are addicted and are struggle to find independence from that bondage, and for those who has suffered major blows to their self esteem and find themselves inadequate in this world. This song sings about our stories, yet this song sings about the one who stands, forever patiently, at the door of our heart and knocks. No matter how low we are or how far away we think we are, He's there. He's real and He will enter into our life if we ask Him, and for the first time we can truly hear Him and see Him, at that point we can say, "I'm Alive".

One of the first stories to influence this song was Steve Fross. A co-worker, a friend, a true Brother-in-Christ. This man lived such a dark life before he met Jesus. To hear such a gentle, Godly man tell what he was like before was astonishing. Long before "I'm Alive" was ever conceived as a song I wrote about Steve's past, "A story of a bitter hole, called my life" because that is exactly how he described his life.

Steve's story was so similar to mine that the phrase "A story of a bitter hole, called my life" touched my soul and I continued on with "Pictures are fading, pass me by. Memories are graying, but the pain remains." See the problem with having a sexual history and marrying a person from that time frame or situation is that they have seen or even known those that you have slept with. This is the case with my wife and I. This is one of those things that no one tells young people about sex. Once you give it away, you can never take it back and the emotional load is more than just yours, it now belongs to everyone that you and your partner will ever have a future relationship with. Husbands seeing their wives as a whore, wives not trusting their husbands, children broken because their parents that they looked to as perfect are now seen warts and all. Through it all the memories will get a tad fuzzier, the memories will fade some, but someone will always carry the pain for our actions. Our actions have consequences whether we like it or not and no matter how you've seared your conscience or what philosophical ideas you buy into, those consequences are still real to everyone in the real world.

At this point, I had a verse written and was fumbling around on my guitar one night and the chorus just spilled out as I was pondering the reality of God. To go a step further, I was thinking back to all the heritage and all the churchianity that I had overcome to truly see God as He was revealed to us in Jesus Christ. Granted, this is out of context for the song even though the words\lyrics still fit. But this is where the chorus came from. Just sitting around pondering and thinking, "Wow, I couldn't imagine life without this intimate knowing of You Lord". I'd played Church all my life. Even considered myself "saved". But until I opened up myself up to truly see God, I was just messing around.

Now I've got the first verse, the pre-chorus, and the chorus. I'm struggling for a second verse. It's been months and I don't have a thing. Then as I'm sitting at a Church in Leoti, KS watching the kids come in for the concert my mind went back to a recent testimony by a young lady at our Church. This young lady was telling about her life and I must admit, she could babysit my children anytime without question, that's how responsible this young lady is. But the pressure that was on her to succeed and to be that "all things to all people" types of daughter, sister, or friend became too much for her. Everyone came to her but she had no place to turn. Unfortunately she turned to cutting herself to release the frustration. The words poured out faster than I could write them down, "Story of a hurting soul, locked up tight. Frustrations hidden, behind her eyes. Her body is craving to cut away the pain, cut away the pain."

Since that day in Leoti, KS the song has touched many lives. The impact was immediate and overwhelming. Emails have poured in from all over the place telling us how much this song has impacted their lives. It baffles me that I was even conscious enough to stumble upon it. Now after many requests, it's going to be release on Wur'ship Project:LIVE. We pray that it'll bless many other lives and that God will be glorified through it all.

Blessings,

Jeremy

I’m Alive
Words & Music by Jeremy Neely

Story of a bitter hole, called my life.
Pictures are fading, pass me by.
Memories are graying, but the pain remains, but the pain remains.

Then You walk right through that door.
The one that You’ve knocked on for so long.

And I see You, for the first time. For the first time in my life.
And I hear You, for the first time. For the first time I’m Alive.

Story of a hurting soul, locked up tight
Frustrations hidden, behind the eyes
Body is craving, cut away the pain, cut away the pain…

Then You walk right through that door.
The one that You’ve knocked on for so long.

And I see You, for the first time. For the first time in my life.
And I hear You, for the first time. For the first time I’m Alive.

For the first time I’m alive! For the first time I’m Alive…

And I see You, for the first time. For the first time in my life.
And I hear You, for the first time. For the first time I’m Alive.